PARTS MEDITATION
Daily IFS Meditation
The Shift to Self
Exiling is toxic to any system. It serves our connection to each other, to our own bodies, to the Earth, and to the divine.
Our treasury of parts ends up mirroring the external system—with lots of exiles, lots of protectors who disdain them, and with our burdens as the fundamental organizing principle of our inner system, as opposed to our Self. Clearly, this way of being with ourselves and the world is not sustainable. Here’s the alternative paradigm that I’m proposing:
Within each of us is a wise, compassionate essence of goodness that knows how to relate harmoniously. Sure, these parts can sometimes be disruptive or harmful, but once they’re unburdened, they return to their essential goodness. In doing so, we realize the basic truth of interconnectedness on all levels, and the natural result of that realization is compassion and courageous action.
I know it sounds like a lot. But making this paradigm shift doesn’t actually require huge sacrifices. It can be painful to retrieve parts of yourself, but the effort is more than worth it. Here is a taste of what you have to gain:
- more love for yourself and others
- more meaningful habits and activities
- more access our rich sadness and grief
- more access to your inner joy and delight
- a deeper sense of fullness in our being and vision
Exercise: Daily IFS Meditation
Here’s a daily meditation that I and other IFS practitioners use to foster this paradigm shift within us.
Start by taking a second to get comfortable. If it helps you to go inside to take some deep breaths, go ahead and do that. I am going to invite you to focus on the parts that you are getting to know first.
And the goal of focusing on them is really just to follow up and see how they’re doing now and if there is anything they need, or want you to know. This is all in the service of building an ongoing relationship with your parts so they feel more connected to you, less isolated and alone.
At some point, remind them that you are there with them, that you care about them. Tell them a little more about who you are, because even as you work with parts, they often forget these things until they’ve been unburdened. And it never hurts to just remind them that:
- they are not alone anymore
- you are not a young child anymore
- you can care for them in a way they need
The goal is to take your parts as seriously as if they were children. The good news is that your parts don’t need nearly as much maintenance or nurturance as literal children do—they often just need to know about this connection you’re building, just to be reminded of it.
Then at some point you can expand your purview and invite any other parts that need attention to come to you. On different days, different parts will show up. Just get to know them and what they need from you, and also let them know who you are and that they’re not alone anymore.
And then this next piece is optional in each meditation: If you’d like to, you can revisit each of these parts, inviting them to relax inside to let you more into your body. Their energy tends to make it harder for you to be embodied when they’re triggered. And if they’re willing to let you in more, you’ll notice a shift each time they relax—you’ll feel more space inside your mind and body.
Remind them that it’s just for a few minutes, that it’s just an experiment to see what happens if they let you be there more. They don’t have to if they don’t want to, in which case you can just continue to get to know them. But if they are willing, notice the qualities of this increase in spaciousness and embodiment. Notice what it feels like to be more in your body with a lot of space.
You might notice a shift in your breathing or your ability to be present. You might feel your muscles relax and a sense of well-being, like everything’s okay. And as I said before, you might also notice a kind of energy running through your body, making your extremities tremble a little bit or tingle. I’m very auditory, so I can also notice a shift in my tone of voice while I’m in this state. I also enjoy the peace that comes with the lack of a pressing agenda.
If your parts are having a lot of trouble relaxing, it just means that they need more of that kind of attention at some point. So let them know you get it, that there’s no pressure for them to do anything. When the time feels right, you can begin to shift your focus back out here, thank your parts for whatever they let you know, and remind them you’re going to do this practice more in the future. Take some deep breaths if that helps you come out.
As I go through my day, I often pause and notice how much I’m in this state. When I’m not, it means there’s some part that’s taken over or is at least more active, and I can quickly find that part and remind it that it’s safe to trust me, that it can relax a little bit and open more space. It’s taken a while, but almost in every situation now my parts do that pretty readily and I can feel the energy again and the spaciousness, and I can relate to people from.
This daily noticing of parts helps them trust that it is safe to open space. It is usually necessary to actively work with them and do some healing, because it’ will be hard for them to trust you
Source- No Bad Parts – by Richard C. Schwartz pages 69-71